"How to begin becoming the person you were meant to be"

We begin to find and become ourselves when we notice how we are already found, already truly, entirely, wildly, messily, marvelously who we were born to be. The only problem is that there is also so much other stuff, typically fixations with how people perceive us, how to get more of the things that we think will make us happy, and with keeping our weight down. So the real issue is how do we gently stop being who we aren’t? How do we relieve ourselves of the false fronts of people-pleasing and affectation, the obsessive need for power and security, the backpack of old pain, and the psychic Spanx that keeps us smaller and contained?

Here’s how I became myself: mess, failure, mistakes, disappointments, and extensive reading; limbo, indecision, setbacks, addiction, public embarrassment, and endless conversations with my best women friends; the loss of people without whom I could not live, the loss of pets that left me reeling, dizzying betrayals but much greater loyalty, and overall, choosing as my motto William Blake’s line that we are here to learn to endure the beams of love.

A-ha!

The magnificent Anne Lamott on how to begin becoming the person you were meant to be.

Pair with Lamott’s indispensable meditations on why perfectionism kills creativity and how we keep ourselves small by people-pleasing, then revisit Alan Watts on becoming who you really are

(via explore-blog)

Writing

[Writing is a way] to think through what it means to be in this world. I definitely write to reach other people, but I write for myself first. I don’t mean that in an arrogant way. It’s just that this is me trying to make sense of my place, and how did I get here, and why am I so lucky in some ways, and so unlucky in others? So it starts with me, and then I move beyond the self, as much as I can.

— Fantastic Guardian profile of Roxane Gay, whose Bad Feminist is a must-read for all people of all genders.  (via explore-blog)

I have to agree with a lot of this statement. However there are days where you might lack any form of motivation and suddenly you remember your audience. Then you can write. It then becomes for them, not for you.